If you’re throwing a Christmas party, don’t hire Santa — that’s so 2014. Instead, you’re gonna want this.

There’s a guy in Boston who’s advertising his services as a real-life elf on the shelf. He dresses up just like the elf and sits somewhere in your house — preferably a shelf or a mantle, if you’ve got one that can hold him.

He charges $100 an hour, and according to his ad on Craigslist, all he does is: “stare emptily at your guests.” Well, he’s got the character down.

He also says he’s been in such high demand that he needs 48 hours advance notice for bookings. Oh, and if you don’t want his elf work, he also offers: “contracted private investigation and babysitting services.” Because of course he does.